Island of the Lone Insane Thought

I haven't talked about this much yet, but Husband and I are going to attempt to buy a house, either this month or next month.

The house we are hoping to buy is Husband's grandmother's house. It's in a not-so-suburban area, where you can still find farms and stuff, but it's right next to an affluent area that's starting to overspill into it. It's one of the few places in Oakland County where development can still happen.

The price is terrific, though it's still kind of high in comparison to our budget, but it's the last piece of the original family farm that's in family hands, and they want to keep it this way.

The house is an eighties-style ranch, and the layout is long and divided, just like most houses from that decade. However, it was built in 1992, which is really new, probably the newest house we'd ever be able to afford. It has three bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms.

The great things about this? Well, the price is fabulous. And because she is moving into an independent living complex, she's downsizing, which means she's leaving all sorts of things behind...a tractor, garden tools, a dining room set, a bedroom set for the guest bedroom, desks, entertainment center, a largish TV, etc. Most of the stuff first-time homebuyers have to buy--like weed killer--are already in the garage. Plus, she's prepaid the garbage pickup until next August. Stuff like that. It has a brand-new high-efficiency furnace/central air unit. The roof is brand-new as well.

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The A*Team fanfic summaries were more popular than I expected, so I've decided to branch out into Knight Rider fanfiction.

(On a side note, why is it that there are thirteen PAGES of fics for KR on ff.net, but only three FICS total for Riptide on ff.net? I do not understand this--they both ran for three seasons and had decent ratings. This just mystifies me, that the general public remembers KR, but not Riptide.)

• Have you ever wondered what it would have been like if Garth Knight had a daughter? No, can't say that I have. Hidden in the Knight is a story about Garth Knight's daughter and her struggle to find out who she really is. The title makes me think of MPreg, honestly.</i>


• Knight of the KAMO is the only true fan fiction that jup has written and it can only be found here. Uh...are there lots of jup imitators? And there's a link provided that shows, I am not making this up, the raw data results of the fight scene between RCIII and Roy. I designed a program that creates a combat scene between two people and used it to write this fight scene with. *blinks* KITT FANFIC FIGHTS = SRS BZNS, Y'ALL.


• Shatner/Hasselhoff '08! Very funny political parody site.

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Space pirate epic. Yes, you've read that correctly. tinx_r and oddmonster collaborated on this story, which was based on my prompt of "space pirates," and it's just so much yum. Hot guys in space, the Riptide/Mimi/Ebb Tide all reconfigured for intergalactic travel, a surprisingly effective Roboz, and h/c.

This is what I read fanfic for--escape, pure and simple. Escape with two hot guys, no less. So totally fun and I love how they adapt the Riptide concept to another genre.

Rated R. Slash, people, slash.

Summary: The Riptide takes on a freighter carrying highly sought-after cargo and find they have taken on more than they bargained for.

Neuros Are For Never: Part One
Neuros Are For Never: Part Two

Somehow I've managed to list an entire set of clothing, nearly finish a commissioned craft piece, take an entire set of pics for Etsy AND crop/fix them in Photoshop, and redo one section of scans for my website, as well as trawl for problems there and send a list of corrections to Website Friend. Also quickly proofread Husband's paper. And all the other usual suspects (laundry, shopping, post office, eBay packaging).

I am always amazed when I actually get something done. I had thought that this week was another wasted set of days, but it turns out I've done more than I usually can accomplish with the bright shiny computer always buzzing in the apartment, tempting me.

Okay, fine, I've managed to read nearly every Riptide fic of interest to me that exists on the internet. *giggles* I couldn't be all productive, y'know?

Yes, tinx_r has drawn me in, hook, line, and sinker.

Riptide was a typical eighties detective show, with two bikini-obsessed guys and an ubergeek living on a boat (a thirties cabin cruiser) and solving cases in King Harbor, CA. (There was also a big pink helicopter with a mouth painted on it called the Screaming Mimi, a classic convertible 'Vette, a Jimmy, a Scarab powerboat, and an orange robot called Roboz, but I digress.)

I watched Riptide when it was originally broadcast. It was eventually slaughtered in the ratings by Moonlighting, and disappeared after its third season. It popped up again on USA, and I became obsessed with it at the time (it was shown with Airwolf (later Miami Vice), and I started watching it again), and I ended up watching every episode at least once, if not twice, or thrice.

Because of a story I recently found by tinx_r, I wandered into the fanfic, and found (as I've babbled already) that not much was available. Still, I've consumed quite a bit. So then I decided to go ahead and buy the entire three seasons on DVD.

I was going to wait to watch the shows until I moved, because I don't think I'll have cable there (not available in that area) and I need something to pass the time while crafting. However, I just can't wait. And I've just (re)watched the pilot, and I have to say that there is no hope for me.

( More about nostalgia for eighties shows, being oblivious to subtext, pushing my buttons (old gear that still works), and enjoying the hell out of this... )

Okay, now these are my favorites. This cemetery was fantastic. It was the Old Town Cemetery, which was in Sandwich (which claims it is the oldest town in New England), and it was on a hillside next to a river, and had lots of trees and atmosphere and was just gorgeous. It had some of the coolest stones. I had to turn up the contrast on some of the photos so you can see the text.

( Eleven images under cut )

Again, these are not my favorite pics. Taken at Orleans Cemetery.

We went on a tour of the cemetery, but it turned out to be a gossip session, and I'd rather hear about the cemetery itself. The woman who gave it was very nice, but quite frankly, she was so gleeful about reading deceased women's diaries that I was a little surprised.

It was a very large cemetery, with a large modern section, hilly and without much tree cover. Not really my favorite, though a couple stones were interesting.

( Thirteen images under the cut )

So while we were on our honeymoon, I told Husband that we had to visit some graveyards. He was a bit appalled at first, which bewildered me, but when we visited the first one he actually seemed to get into it, and wandered about reading epitaphs and even getting in the way of shots, lol.

So here is the first set of images. There will be three entries total, one for each site, and I'm warning you that this is the most boring set of pics of the three. The light was very low because the sun was setting, and the pics aren't as nice as I would have hoped. Still, they hold interest for fellow taphophiles, so here you go.

( Eight images under the cut )

No, not that kind of fun.

( Admit it, you've always wanted to see a character from classical literature, in sock form... )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY cactus_wren!!

Happy Birthday to one of my favorite LJers! I'm so happy to have met you--you totally rock. You're funny and interesting, and your entries are heartfelt. You're always a sympathetic ear in times of trouble, and you're so sweet and nice. I feel so lucky that we're friends! *hugs* I hope your day is great!

Exploring the Riptide fandom has been rather intriguing.

First, it has always been a small fandom, it seems.

Second, it was 'zine based at first (the show ran from 85-88), and it appears that not many of the zine stories have been transferred to the internet (though some are still orderable, like this set). (ETA: According to tinx_r, that zine publisher is actually still quite active, and would be the place to go.) This is maddening to me--I want to read some of these stories so badly, but I'm worried that because the addresses listed are 3-4 years old, it might be fruitless to send away for them. I've seen some zines on eBay, too, but then I start thinking, do I really have this to spare right now...

Third, I can only find a single archive (Double Your Pleasure, a slash archive) and a fanpage with a few links. I found way more A*Team fanfic, honestly. Hell, fanfiction dot net has only three stories listed, though you can find five or six if you search diligently. My net mojo has abandoned me in this search...I've been lucky to find a scant handful of stories. Thank goodness for pier56 and the tireless efforts of tinx_r to get people to see the delicious slashy possibilities in a couple of yummy eighties guys living together in a small boat.

Fourth, the LJ presence is very small, and it turns out that pier56 is rather new (and seems like the only LJ Riptide comm).

Fifth, you know your fandom small when you squee and clap your hands because all four of the Riptide regulars commented on your fic.

I dreamt that I went to a wedding. It turned out that kakiphony was getting married (I know, this makes no sense, Kaki, I'm sorry), and I was a bridesmaid, and there were six bridesmaids total. So I showed up at the wedding location with my bridesmaid gown in a garment bag.

She was getting married at a mansion, and when I walked in, the groom told me that there were two ceremonies planned, a traditional ceremony and a hot tub ceremony, and they were about to start the hot tub ceremony. I panicked but then he told me that they'd bought hot tub swimsuit gowns for everyone. So I ran off and found the bridesmaids' dressing room, which was so big it could have housed an Olympic-sized swimming pool. It also had a giant hot tub, but not the ceremonial hot tub.

The hot tub bridesmaid dress was charcoal grey with orange stripes at the collarbone and had lots of funky straps at the top. I was trying to find the size when two more bridesmaids walked in. One of them was tapedeck. They promptly took one look at the hot tub and jumped in and started pouring champagne. I pointed out that the hot tub ceremony was about to begin, but Tapedeck said, "We already have a hot tub, we don't need ceremony."

I changed and took off and got there just in time. Kakiphony was standing with her groom in the hot tub (which was shaped like a three-leaf-clover), wearing a white dress that looked like it was made of strips of seventies-style white deep shag carpeting, and I took my place behind the other three bridesmaids, standing in the hot water and waiting for the ceremony to begin.

If any of you have ever received...er...crafted items from me before, would you consider sending me an email at (my LJ name) at gmail.com and give me a quick blurb/testimonial about what you received? Please keep in mind that these would be for my website (where I will be selling said crafted items), and I would like to put your first name with your blurb. If you are comfortable with that, please email me. Thank you SO much. Seriously.

(Please, no mentions of what I make here on the entry, thank you so much!! *hugs*)

The website is nearly done--I can't believe it. I'm so thankful to Website Friend, he really came through, and in such a professional manner. He rocks.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY innerslytherin!!

Happy Birthday to a wonderful LJer! I'm so happy to have met you. You rock!! I know you're on the road right now and you might not see this. I hope that you are having a fantastic time, where ever you are! Enjoy yourself! *hugs* I hope your day is great!

Someone else is doing my idea of discount merchandise (uh, but my idea wasn't really that unique, it's a pretty logical step) and it's a good friend of mine who thought it would be cool to try and she was across from me and had more stuff for less money, which is not that great to have across from you. And also, surprise. I had no idea she was coming.

Fortunately, I had two spaces and lots of repeat customers. She did not do as well as I did.

Unfortunately, I had one repeat customer who made me crazy, and due to my faulty memory and the fact that I can't seem to think on my feet, he ended up sitting behind my booth with me through most of the show, and he kept talking about pot. Loudly. Well, everything was loud, not just the parts about pot. He also mentioned pagans and made another remark that was ugly and I just couldn't figure out how to get him out of my booth. People kept thinking it was HIS booth, and that made me really uncomfortable and upset. Two years ago when he first bought from me he was rather funny and interesting--an aging Deadhead with lots of great stories, and he bought a lot of stuff so I let him stash his backpack behind my booth. Last year he took that inch and shaped it into a mile, and it was really not as fun, though it was still tolerable. This year it was awful. But then five minutes after he announced he was going to leave (which was at 3:45, the show ends at 5) I remembered that all I had to do is tell him that only vendors could sit behind the booth. *giant headdesk to end all headdesks*

What can I say--I was sleep-deprived and I literally could not figure out what to say that would not offend him or be a lie. Next year if he shows up I will definitely let him purchase and then he will not be allowed behind the booth after we're done.

I am so angry and low right now. I'm totally passive-aggressive, but still, I would have said the phrase if I had thought of it--I know he upset people and definitely lost sales for me, and he didn't buy much from me this year, and damnit, I wish I could have gotten rid of him earlier.

*grumbles*

Almost forgot. I won't mention the one with the house with all the whitewashed doors and the giant black poodle and the guy who was very domineering.

Instead, I will talk about how I apparently won Rock of Love at some point and was the new Bret Michaels girl. Seriously. We went to some sort of college campus so he could play a gig, and after a strange subplot involving culverts and freeway ditches, we showed up at the auditorium, which was rather small.

Bret and his band set up and then played a pretty good set, including a really rockin' version of "Ballroom Blitz," and I was dancing like a mad thing and so excited because Bret really liked me a lot and seemed to still like me even though RoL had ended a month ago. I looked around while they were playing, and most of the crowd was just sitting in chairs, bored. A few were really into the performance, and I felt really sad because I thought that the bored people weren't giving him a chance--Bret was really tearing it up!

It ended and his crew started breaking down. Bret met up with me and his guy assistant, who looked like a reject from Spinal Tap but was actually super sweet. Bret mentioned that he wanted to go somewhere nice with me, and I was so touched and excited. So we went out into the lobby and then he saw a Starbucks, so he stopped to get a coffee. However, the Starbucks was closed, and the girl behind the counter was writing sheets and sheets of paper that looked like a diary, and she gave us a really nasty look when he asked her to make an exception for him and get him a coffee.

So I look behind Bret and his assistant, and there's a line forming. And then I realized alabastard was the next person in line, and he started talking to Bret and it turns out they'd been friends forever, and I was thinking, wow, when two of my fandoms collide, it's always surprising!

( Cut because this is already too long )

Hmm. I just wrote another story between last night and today for the Riptide fandom and posted it.

It's been ages since I did any writing, and what I always forget is that once the words start flowing, it just takes over.

I mean, I just sat and wrote 5600 words. When I'm away from writing, I feel like it's insurmountable, but when I sit down and write, I remember that even though it's hard, it's easy, too.

I hope I can keep this up. TLS has been eating my brain for three months straight and I'd like to get it on a page.

*hugs tinx_r for being so much inspiration*

You might remember this entry where I talked about my noun substitution issues.

Last night we had this conversation:

Husband (looking at set of Riptide DVDs): Is this the show with the helicopter with the mouth painted on it?
Valis: Yep!
Husband: I can't remember the guys, though. Hmmm. Rick & AJ?
Valis: No, that's Simon & Simon.
Husband: Ah.
Valis: Aren't you impressed that I remembered that so quickly?
Husband: Well, it was a little easier for you than it would have been for me, because I didn't say Shnarf & Shna Shna.
Valis: *doubles over laughing*
Husband: Sometimes talking to you is like being in the middle of a James Joyce novel.

Husband just called me to tell me that he finally closed out his old credit union checking account, and used the funds to buy chocolate for me. aww!

ETA: NOM NOM NOM

My ballot is signed, sealed, and will be delivered to the post office tomorrow. *breathes a sigh of relief*

I wish I had an off button for political ads for the next month. *sighs*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY gmonkey42!!

Happy Birthday to a hilarious artist, awesome fandomer, and all-around fabulous person! I'm so happy to have met you. Your entries are fascinating, you have amazing adventures, and you're so reasoned and knowledgeable that every conversation is engrossing! You're such a cool person--brilliant and beautiful! *hugs* I hope your day is great!

I'm a featured author at Sycophant Hex's Ashwinder archive for the month of October!

*blinks*

I never, ever, in a million billion trillion years would have expected this. It's especially surprising that the fic is the freaky, crack!dream-inspired the Pond.

I'm totally astonished and humbled and wow! I'm completely bowled over. Thank you so much, SH!!

Being gone for a week usually means I skip an auction. However, with events progressing as they are, I didn't feel we could afford to, so I enlisted Husband to help me with shipping while I was gone.

I am now trying to sort through all of the eBay woe, and package the shipments, and all I can say is, woe.

The customer who made me crazy two weeks ago has done it again, in the same exact manner. She's paid for some stuff and then turned around and bid on new stuff the very next day. Ethically, I don't feel right charging her for two separate packages, and I want to combine them. However, I don't want this to be taken advantage of! On the last shipment, I paid $4 out of my own pocket because it hit the magical Parcel Post weight instead of First Class. (If she had waited, I could have used the Shipping Calculator, which would have given a combined shipping price. Instead, as I usually do, I sent her a second invoice with no shipping, not realizing that the weight was so high.)

So she's done it again, only with much heavier stuff. Damnit! I'm trying to figure out how best to address this with her without sounding nasty, because she's buying a lot and clearly is rather new. But I hate having to rely on my very faulty memory cells to catch these double orders...

Also, the eBay Shipping Calculator, while adequate for most transactions, still cannot seem to charge the correct rate when someone buys things from my eBay store and my auctions. Case in point? Recently it calculated that a shipment would cost $17.36 for First Class. Uh, no. $2.50. And Parcel Post was calculated at $42. *headdesk*

But today's debacle takes the cake. An international buyer (and, yes, I do not say ANYWHERE that I accept international buyers, so this makes me fume) bid on something and won. I apparently didn't notice as I was sending out invoices. So I sent an invoice for the customer--who is in NORWAY, damnit--for $2.17 First Class. Now, normally, when one has an international customer, the invoice prep screen will show a completely blank field and you have to type in an amount. Let me just mention that $2.17 is my default shipping for First Class--if I type something in myself, I always round up to the nearest ten cents. So yes. EBay has just totally screwed me over. The item cost was barely $3. I only just broke even on it. And now I will have to send to a higher-expense country on top of it. I mean, if it were Great Britain it might not be so bad, but this will cost me oodles, I can already tell. So I'm going to get the cost from the PO and send the customer a note, but honestly, they've already paid, and it was my invoice they paid from, so I do not have much of a choice here. *gnashes teeth*

Came back to skip?=800+ or something. I'm barely to 690, mostly because yesterday my internet connection sucked. Yes, I have "cable" internet. Faux-cable is more like it--it's actually a satellite connection, but they pretend it's cable. I mean, c'mon, do you think I'm stupid when I see all of the DirectTV ads on "cable"? Not to mention the occasional satellite-out-of-sync messages. Anyway, it took about a half hour just to get flowers ordered, and I finally gave up on email.

It seems to be better today, but I just have so much to do that I'm afraid of falling even more behind. And there's so much to see--I want to read all of the debate reactions, and new Riptide stories.

In other news, I had a dream that I was filing paperwork for Batman. Turns out his filing consists mostly of loony memos from the Joker.

I have ten thousand million words in my head for LJ, as always, and fortunately for you, my fingers only want to type a few.

Am very glad to be home.

*snuggles you all*